Why did Karen press CTRL+ALT+DELETE? Because she wanted to see the task manager.
I can't find my "Gone in 60 Seconds" DVD. It was here a minute ago.
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He just couldn't see himself doing it.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? HDMI.
Why are elevator jokes so great? They work on many levels.
Why does Waldo wear a striped shirt? Because he doesn't want to be spotted.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
I just applied for a job down at the diner. I told them I really bring a lot to the table.
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin.
What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer? 100 sows and bucks.
What did one wall say to the other? "I'll meet you at the corner."
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
My son's fourth birthday was today. When he came to see me, I didn't recognize him at first.
I had never seen him be four.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
How do snails fight? They slug it out.
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods. It's harder to deter gents.
I recently went to the "World's Tiniest Wind Turbine" exhibit. Honestly not a big fan.
In 2020 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2021, 2022, or 2023 either.
This is a running joke.
What do you call a bee that never made it into the hive? A wanna bee.
Why is sand so optimistic? It has a can-dune attitude.
What did the seal with one fin say to the shark? If seal is broken, do not consume.
My book about clocks finally arrived. It's about time.
What has five toes and isn't your foot? My foot.
When are holes beautiful? When they're gorges.
Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns.
Did you hear about the whale that swallowed a clown? It felt funny after.
The furniture store keeps calling me... All I wanted was one night stand.
Why don't phones ever go hungry? They have plenty of Apps to choose from.
What"s a writers favorite train station? Penn Station.
What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? 14 carrot gold.
Did you hear they arrested the devil? Yeah, they got him on possession.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He wanted to get a long little doggy.
Why are kitchens so good at math? Because they have a lot of counters.
What do dogs and phones have n common? They both have collar ID.
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